Ladies and Gentlemen, I know you’ve hardly been able to contain your excitement for the past few weeks, in anticipation of the star studded spectacular you’re about to see.
Despite the fact that Steven Spielberg has been constantly phoning, texting, WhatsApping and generally making a nuisance of himself begging for our Alte Macher Players to headline at the Hollywood Bowl, our loyal cast have declined the multi million pound offer and insisted on playing this show for you here today.
Months of rehearsals, (and blood, sweat and tears have been plentiful), but nevertheless, the show must go on.
Please sit back and enjoy our Alte Macher Players and their special Chanukah Concert, Les Miserabble.
Watch for Spencer Berd, who’s singing went down a storm !
Master of the Shul
Welcome, my friends, sit yourselves down
And meet the finest president … in the town
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me,
With a load of good intent
Who’s content to be ……….
Master of the shul, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Glad to do a friend a favour
Doesn’t cost him to be ni — ice
But nothing gets you nothing ….
Everything’s got a little price!
Master of the shul, keeper of our fate
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate
He’s convinced he runs the service,
Treats us all like kids in shul.
Everybody loves the President
Everybody’s very best friend.
Master of the shul, quick to check you out.
Never misses counting who’s here about.
Friend to the frum ….. friend to the great
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate.
Master of the shul, master and a half
Comforter ? Philosopher ? – don’t make me larf !
Everyone bless the President
Everyone raise a glass
Everyone raise a glass to the Master of the Shul
Bring Me Home
Hashem on high
Hear my prayer
In my need, …. you have always been there
I was young …I was unafraid ….When I roamed …Away from home
The years went by one by one
How soon they fly
And before I Know, they will be gone.
Bring me peace, nachus and joy
I’m no longer young, no longer a boy
Bring me home Bring me home Bring me home
This is the shul I might have known
If I had seen what I could be
But now I see the summers die
One by one One by one.
Bring me peace….Bring me joy
I am no longer young…….I am no longer a boy
Let me be….Let me live
Bring me home Bring me home Bring me home.
Do you Hear the People Sing (Till Tomorrow Comes)
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing aloud adon olom
It is the music of a people …
Who know they’ll soon be gone
To the kiddush in the hall
Where they’ll fill their empty tums
It’s as if they won’t see food
Till tomorrow comes
Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of Chanukah
It is the music of a people
Who know it will soon be gone
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
Normal life is about to start
When tomorrow comes!
SHALLOW CLASS SKETCH
Robert I Iook down on him, because I’m tall, dark and handsome
IAN I look up to him because he’s taller and better looking, and has hair, but I look down on him because although he’s also better looking, he’s smaller than me and has no hair.
Spencer I know my place.
Robert I’m an upper class snob, and as I think I’m above everyone, I look down on them.
IAN I still look up to him because although I think he’s a twit, he’s in charge so I butter him up.
Spencer I know my place.
Robert I wear designer suits, so I look down on him in his cheap clothes.
IAN I may be common, I’m not as scruffy as him.
Spencer I know my place
IAN We all know our place, but what do we get out of it ?
Robert I get a feeling of superiority over both of them
IAN I get a feeling of inferiority from him, but a feeling of superiority over him
Spencer I get a bloody pain in the back of my neck.